


Happy White Day...?

by JustAPotatoWriter (AwkwardPotatoWriter)



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Chocolate, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, It's Kinda Bad..., M/M, Romance, White Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 04:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13967541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardPotatoWriter/pseuds/JustAPotatoWriter
Summary: But you don’t want to lose hope. Hope that has once failed you… You hang on to the thin chance that Yoosung might be grateful for your efforts. As selfish as it sounds, you want him to accept it from you.And wasn’t he the one who gave you chocolate first, anyway?





	Happy White Day...?

**Author's Note:**

> I was playing 'Uta no Prince-Sama: Shining Live' when I got a notification for White Day. I thought I should write something to practice writing Romance and, well...I chose Saeran to suffer. I suck at romance, and I want to improve. (It's gonna be a long way though.)
> 
> Seriously...what the hell am I doing? XP  
> Anyway, I'm going to post this, no matter how hard I berate myself later. 
> 
> If you notice any mistakes or inconsistencies, please tell me. And if i got anything wrong related to White Day, let me know. (I had no time to do enough research, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot.)
> 
> Enjoy! (That was a long note. Sorry about that.)

Does he like chocolate, though…?

You’ve been asking yourself that question for a few days, and you still have no answer. You’ve put your best chocolate-making skills into use and you’re not very satisfied with the results. (It’s not bad; you’re just…not happy with it.)

You’ve even shaped them yourself—star-shaped, puppy-shaped and LOLOL-shaped chocolates lay in the box you prepared—helped by a crafty friend—carefully arranged and decorated with icing; white, milk and dark chocolate; caramel, orange caramel, chocolate mousse for fillings. If it was something you made casually, you might have been proud of yourself.

_Might._

You feel stupid. Why the hell would Yoosung accept chocolate from you, Choi Saeran, the broken idiot who once tried to harm the RFA? (Harm was an understatement.)

But you don’t want to lose hope. Hope that has once failed you… You hang on to the thin chance that Yoosung might be grateful for your efforts. As selfish as it sounds, you want him to accept it from you.

And wasn’t he the one who gave you chocolate first, anyway?

Saeyoung peeks into the kitchen and clears his throat to get your attention, but you don’t notice him at first. He walks to you and notices the concern on your face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, but you can’t find the strength to speak. You feel like you might break down if you part your lips. Saeyoung doesn’t ask again—he hugs you briefly and pecks your cheek. “It’ll be fine,” he says, and you don’t know if you should trust his words…

He’s lied to you before, didn’t he—

You shake the thought away and you can feel the sting of tears in your eyes. You push Saeyoung away as gently as possible and close the star-shaped box. Without a word, you move to your room. You can feel your head spinning lightly, and for a few seconds, you feel like you’re dreaming.

You sit in the familiar darkness of your room. You hate yourself—you really do. Everything you’ve done seems meaningless. A star-shaped box? What kind of stupid idea is that? And star-shaped chocolate? Puppy-shaped? Are you crazy?

No, you’re not crazy. You’re stupid. You’re an idiot. Yoosung will never like someone like you!

You can hear your own voice. You can see yourself, looking down on your shaking frame in disdain. You can hear yourself jabbing insults at your miserable figure. The tears you’ve been holding back are now flowing down your face, and breathless sobs are escaping your lips. You try to tone down your sobs, but it’s not working. Saeyoung would probably rush into the room any moment now.

And he does—you don’t have the time to process what happened, but you know Saeyoung’s arms are wrapped around you. You push him away—or, you try to. You can’t put the strength in your arms, and soon you give up, letting your arms drop by your sides. Saeyoung is whispering in your ear, trying to stop your body from shaking. When it stops, you feel exhausted and you almost collapse on your brother’s shoulder.

#

Okay, you _did_ collapse.

And you woke up on the next day—March the 14th!

_White Day!!_

You sit up rapidly and it’s a mistake—your head is spinning and you feel like you’ve been out for a few days. You can feel dread replacing the sleepiness in your body—you haven’t decided on giving Yoosung your gift yet.

Saeyoung gets you some breakfast—ice cream, of course. (You needed it, to be honest.) He sits next to you and rubs your back gently, waiting for you to be ready to speak. But you doubt you’d ever be ready—you can barely eat your ice cream.

When you hand the bowl back to Saeyoung, you’re sure he’s worried. You only refuse ice cream when you’re really stressed and he seems to know that well. You feel his arms around you, holding you in an awkward side hug. But you don’t mind—you want to be close to someone.

Why did thinking about Yoosung give you so much stress?

“He won’t like it…”

“That’s not true,”

You want to believe him, but you can’t. You don’t feel it. You can’t feel it.

“He doesn’t like me,”

_Then why did he get you chocolate, you moron?_

You don’t know if you can proceed on with the day. Yoosung has school, and you won’t be able to give him the chocolate. Even if you gather your courage, you doubt you can wait…

Maybe this was a bad idea, all together…

And you’re not the type of person who’d give others gifts, let alone chocolate—on White Day!

Maybe you should just let it pass…

But Yoosung gave you chocolate on Valentine’s. He gave _you_ , of all people, a whole box full of homemade chocolate. _On Valentine’s!_ He even told you to not let Saeyoung have any. And he was blushing, too…

Did he mean it? The blush could have been anything—Yoosung’s face tended to turn red quickly. He could have been too excited. But why would he be excited to give you a gift?

Maybe he wanted to make you flustered.

Yes, Yoosung could have wanted to make you think he’s serious, so that he can turn you down on White Day—

_No, Yoosung doesn’t think like that. Yoosung is not me…_

It feels like you were drenched in water—cold water. A shock runs through your body like electricity, and you hold onto Saeyoung’s body tightly. His grip tightens around you, and you hear your name twice. He hands you the bowl of ice cream and helps you feed yourself. You try your best to focus on the taste of the creamy goodness in your mouth. Vanilla…

It takes you a couple more spoons before you come back to your senses—almost. You feel hungry, and Saeyoung keeps feeding you until you can hold the spoon yourself. (He refuses to leave your side, though.)

_Great… Thanks for making me get fed by my brother, Yoosung._

#

You’re back to the kitchen, trying to figure out what to do with the box. It’s almost evening, and Yoosung was probably home. Saeyoung has been waiting for you to ask him to drive you over but you’re skeptical. You don’t want to get your hopes up, but if you don’t, you may have to eat that chocolate yourself next month…

The box is in perfect shape. The chocolates, which you have abandoned the day before, were still good. Saeyoung had moved them so that they don’t melt like your brain did.

“Saeran, come on,”

You feel like you might get angry at him, but you don’t. You keep staring at the box, and your heart is beating normally. It scares you a little—why aren’t you nervous?

You hold the box and the card you had prepared. You can imagine all the possible scenarios—Yoosung accepting your chocolate just to not make you upset; Yoosung refusing your chocolate; Yoosung getting offended at your attempt to gift him chocolate—

Saeyoung’s hand touches your shoulder and you shake him off. He doesn’t stop—he takes the box and the card and walks out of the bunker.

_What the hell?_

You run after him, but you can’t catch up. He’s in the car with the box, and you know what he’s thinking—as soon as you get into the car, he’s going to drive off. He’s trying to force you to meet Yoosung.

It makes you feel angry…

“What the fuck?!” you shout, but he smiles at you.

“What’s wrong?”

“What do you think you’re doing?”

But you both know what he’s thinking.

“You don’t seem like you can do it on your own,”

You glare at him. “…Watch me…”

You stomp over to the car, yank the door open, grab the box and slam the door shut. Saeyoung snickers at you as you do so, but you don’t pay him much attention. You hold the box as carefully as your anger would allow and walk outside. You don’t need someone to make you get that gift to Yoosung. You’re going to do it on your own.

Halfway, you realize you should have probably brought a jacket; you’re shivering and you’re not quite sure if it’s the air or the anxiety you’re starting to feel. On second thought, maybe driving would have been slightly better.

But Saeyoung was going to tease you. You can’t have that, can you?

By the time you reach Yoosung’s apartment complex, you’re feeling tired. How did you think you could walk all that on your own? You can barely feel your legs, and your arms are holding the box wearily. The only thing supporting you is the fact you can’t actually go back now. (And that you need to get the box to Yoosung, but you weren’t going to admit that, were you?)

You check the contents of the box one more time—everything is good. Not perfect, but still presentable.

What the fuck were you thinking?

You can’t even climb the stairs. Your legs shake like jelly and you feel dazed just thinking about it. It feels like your legs are going to give away if you even consider trying to climb the stairs.

How long has it been since you’ve left the bunker?

“Idiot…” you say, but you’re not sure if berating yourself would have any effect. You’re sitting on the stairs, holding the bright star-shaped box, looking miserable—or thinking you do. You can’t see yourself, but you can imagine a few things.

“Oh! Saeran!”

You’ve never felt that surprised in your life. You almost jumped and lost your footing—and the box. Yoosung was coming down the stairs, looking like he’s forgotten something.

You open your mouth to say something, but you don’t know what to say.

Shit! You don’t know what to say.

You want to hide the box, but you’re sure Yoosung had already seen it. He looks curious, and you hear it in his voice when he speaks.

“Why are you here this late?”

Is it late already?

“I—uh…”

He’s smiling patiently, and you feel a little at ease. Yoosung wasn’t going to press for answers. You carefully hold the suffering box and look at your feet. You can’t look him in the eye. Hell, your voice can’t come out properly, either.

“This…is for you…” you say as soon as you can manage to get your voice out. Yoosung laughs a little takes the box. But he doesn’t open it.

“Let’s go upstairs first,” he says. “You’re really breathless,”

Only then you realize you’re actually gasping for breath. You attempt to tone down your breaths as you scale the stairs, but it’s impossible. You have to stop for air every few steps and you could swear Yoosung was worried.

“Saeran, you don’t look okay,”

And you don’t feel okay, but you shake your head. Just hold on…till you reach the 5th floor. Then you can relax. Or collapse—whichever comes first. (You’d rather not collapse, though.)

You feel like you can’t realize your surroundings very well, but the smell of Yoosung’s apartment tells you you’ve reached your destination. You feel safe leaning against the door frame and taking several deep breaths. Everything was fine. You were there, and the box was delivered.

But God! Your body is on fire!

Every muscle is aching. You can’t even move yourself to the living room, and you have to wait for Yoosung to help you. He doesn’t seem to mind it, and you’re not really that heavy. Yoosung helps you sit on the couch and leaves briefly to get you a glass of water. You can barely take a few sips before the glass slips a little out of your grasp. Yoosung holds it for you.

“Oh my god, Saeran… What did you do…?” he sighs as he helps you drink the whole glass. He’s holding your head even after the glass has been put away, and it makes you feel a little warm. “Did you have…an attack or something…?”

He sounds wary, but you dismiss it. You don’t want to mention that you walked all the way to his apartment—who knows what he might think? Maybe he’ll think it’s dumb.

“It’s nothing…”

“Are you sick?”

You’re not sure if that’s because you’re tired or because you’re anxious, but Yoosung feels really close. You have to resist leaning against him—you want to fall asleep.

“I’m okay, really…”

Even your voice is not okay.

Yoosung pulls you close to him and lets you rest your head on his shoulder. You don’t protest—you can’t move anymore. You want to fall asleep just like that. But, there is one thing you’ve forgotten…

“Uh…happy White Day, I guess…” you say, not really sure if that’s the right thing to say. You don’t really care, either—you’re happy with your progress.

Yoosung laughs a little and shifts in place so that he’s holding you in an embrace. You feel you should return the gesture, but your arms aren’t responding fast enough. You close your eyes, and you feel yourself drifting into sleep.

And…you’re not sure if that was just your sleepiness…but you could feel something on your lips. It’s soft and warm. If you were wide awake, you’re sure you would have ran away, but right now, all you can imagine is Yoosung, holding you close, and kissing you like that forever.

You’re sure you might end up having some…strange dreams, but you’re grateful. It’s not like you wanted it to be, but you’re content. At least you weren’t rejected, right?

_Heh…wait till he sees the puppy-shaped chocolates…_

**Author's Note:**

> Why does Saeran always end up like that when I write him? Seeing everyone else, it feels off... *sigh*  
> I don't think I'll ever do this pairing justice. I like it so much yet I'm so horrible at writing. T_T I'll hang onto the hope I might get better at writing. (And at coming up with titles.)
> 
> Please let me know if there is something that I can do to get better, or if there is anything you think is off with my style. I need all the tips I can get for writing romance. And thank you for reading! 
> 
> I don't know if you celebrate White Day wherever you are (I don't), but I hope you get a lot of chocolate today! (And if you're allergic, then I hope you get something your really like!) 
> 
> Ahem, I'll stop blabbering. Have a nice day/night!


End file.
